Emigration: Too Big for Your Home Country, Not Quite Hitting It Abroad

To be a cosmopolitan you need to be highly motivated & ready for tons of stereotypes. Because finding belonging halfway across the world is not for the light hearted.

I must say though that in a world that is increasingly interconnected, the dream of packing up and moving to a new country is more attainable than ever. For many, emigration represents a chance to start fresh, pursue greater opportunities, or escape from economic or political instability. However, the reality of emigration often presents a paradox: feeling too big for your home country, yet not quite fitting in abroad. After 1 year in Texas, I feel like the whole process of moving abroad can be broken down into the following stages:

Stage 1 – The Allure of Emigration
For ambitious individuals, and I’d like to see myself as one of those, the home country can sometimes feel limiting. Whether due to economic constraints, lack of professional opportunities, or social and political climates, many feel a ceiling that they are desperate to break through. Emigration offers a promise—a horizon that stretches infinitely, suggesting boundless opportunities and the chance to reinvent oneself. With all of that comes the big promise of endless adventure.

Stage 2 – The Initial Excitement
The early stages of emigration are typically filled with excitement and hope. The process of securing visas, finding accommodation, and navigating new environments is challenging yet thrilling. Every small victory, like finding a job or making a new friend, feels monumental. This honeymoon phase can last from a few months to a year, where everything feels possible and the future seems bright. It’s that adventure that’s calling with the promise of everything being possible.

Stage 3 – Reality Sets In
However, as the initial excitement wanes, we begin to face the stark realities of the new life. Integration into a new culture is often more difficult than anticipated. And although there are no language barriers in my case there are definitely some cultural differences, and it can get pretty lonely too at times. Professional challenges may also arise, as foreign qualifications might not be recognized, or the job market may be more competitive than expected.

Stage 4 – The Identity Crisis
One of the most profound challenges for emigrants is the identity crisis. Back home, they might have been successful and respected. The skills and experiences that made them stand out in their home country may not carry the same weight in a new context. This can lead to frustration and a sense of being undervalued. In my case for example, being a DEI-B specialist in the Netherlands most definitely carries more weight than being one in the conservative state of Texas. To create belonging for yourself, you need to reinvent parts of yourself. The other option “to just fit it” seems undesirable. How you bring your values, skills, knowledge to the table in a different cultural context can be a bit of an internal challenge.

Stage 5 – The Middle Ground
For many, the experience of emigration falls into a middle ground—neither wholly negative nor entirely positive. They may miss their home country while appreciating the opportunities abroad. This duality can be enriching, leading to a more nuanced understanding of both cultures. However, it can also be tiring, as the constant balancing act between two worlds can lead to emotional and mental fatigue. It’s hard to compare, what works well in the Netherlands (health care, inclusion, social security), isn’t that great in Texas. What is great in Texas (living the American dream, customer service, blue skies all year long), doesn’t work that well in the Netherlands. Seems like you can’t have it all after all.

Stage 6 – Finding Balance
The key to navigating this paradox is finding a balance. It involves embracing the new culture while maintaining ties to the home country. Building a new social network, seeking professional opportunities that value your unique background, and continuously learning can help bridge the gap. It’s also important to give oneself time; integration is a gradual process, and it’s normal to experience ups and downs.

Stage 7 – Embracing the Journey
Emigration is a journey, not just a destination. It’s an adventure that involves continuous adaptation, learning, and growth. For those feeling too big for their home country but not quite hitting it abroad, it’s crucial to remember that they are not alone. Millions of people around the world share this experience. By connecting with other expatriates, seeking support, and maintaining a positive outlook, it is possible to carve out a fulfilling life that spans continents.

Conclusion
The experience of emigration is complex and multifaceted. It offers incredible opportunities and significant challenges. Feeling too big for your home country but not quite fitting in abroad is a common sentiment among emigrants. By acknowledging this paradox and actively seeking ways to balance and integrate both worlds, it is possible to create a life that is both enriching and expansive. Embrace the journey, enjoy the adventure, cherish the lessons, and remember that every step taken abroad contributes to a unique and valuable personal story of creating belonging.

If you like to follow my journey in the US, take a look at my Instagram page Tulips.to.Tumbleweeds for photo & video proof of my Texan adventures 😉

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash